If You Want What We Have

[bluidkiti]

"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

----110----

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. Virginia Woolf

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Why should I have to take the blame for everything? What about the things other people have done to me?

Sponsor

Taking Step Four isn't about blaming ourselves or others. It can helps us with out anger at those we believe have harmed us. When we write a Fourth Step, we name all the people and institutions we fear and resent. By putting into writing the wrongs we believe each of them has committed, we see the array of fears and resentments that burden our minds and disturb our serenity.
It's human nature to fear or resent people we haven't treated well. If I neglect someone---I don't very much want to see or think about her. I tell myself, "It's all her fault." Guilt feels unpleasant; I may turn to my addiction to keep it at bay. Step Four ask me to take an honest look at the ways I myself contributed to or even caused the situation I'm so upset about.
But there may also be certain things we didn't cause. What if we're convinced that we're right? Instead of plotting revenge, we can understand that there are others who are mentally or spiritually ill. We can acknowledge what they have done, without having to cling to resentment. We can ask in our prayers that they be healed.

Today, I let faith replace my fears and resentments.