Wisdom For Today - December

[bluidkiti]

December 10

Wisdom for Today

Another quality of character that seemed to disappear with my addiction was the ability to trust. With increasing fear and doubt as my constant companions, I found it impossible to trust anyone or anything. It got to the point where I could not even trust drugs or alcohol to take me away from my misery. I stopped drinking and using, but my ability to trust had not returned. How was I supposed to trust a bunch of drunks to help me get clean and sober? And as for a Higher Power, my relationship with God was far in the past; I had no idea how to rekindle this relationship. Most of all I could no longer trust myself.

Trust was not easy to rebuild. The thought of taking off the mask that I wore was so frightening, I could not imagine living without it. Then one day in desperation, sitting alone in my room with tears streaming down my face, I cried, "God, help me!" To my surprise He did. I'm not even sure when I realized that I was being helped, and I'm not sure it really mattered. Like peeling layers of an onion away, one by one I let my defenses fall by the wayside. I began to open up, and I continued to ask for help. Soon I could see that that bunch of drunks really had my best interests at heart. I was being shown the way, not just to sobriety, but also to a new way of living. As I followed the suggestions of others, I also found increasing happiness. I even found that I could begin to trust myself again, because I was no longer out to destroy myself. Am I becoming more trusting?

Meditations for the Heart

Prayer is a way to communicate with my Higher Power. Yet as I walk through the day, I am often confronted with so many different things that it is easy to loose sight of keeping God in the center of my life. In recovery I find that the word serenity is a slippery thing. Sometimes I tease and say that I have experienced at least 16 seconds of serenity in my recovery, and not all at once. Sadly this is not too far from accurate. I allow the material world to take center stage too often. However, when I am able to keep the spiritual world on center stage, I find that I have much more peace of mind and serenity.

As I have walked on this path called recovery, I have learned that practice does not make things perfect, but practice does allow for progress. So prayer is something I need to practice. My sponsor suggested I try using the Dr. Pepper method of practice. I looked puzzled, and he said, "On the old bottles of Dr. Pepper, you would see the numbers 10, 2, and 4." This was a suggestion of the times during the day to drink a bottle of Dr. Pepper. A marketing scheme turned sideways to help alcoholics and addicts! So I began to pray at 10, 2, and 4. I found that this practice helped and progress followed. So did more and more periods of serenity. Do I practice to improve my communication with my Higher Power?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Help me this day to keep You central in my life. Let me not be distracted by the material world, but keep me focused on my spiritual life. Let me continue to risk trusting those who have walked this path before me. Most of all let me never stop trusting You.
Amen.