Wisdom For Today - January

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January 12

Wisdom for Today
Anger and resentment seemed to be constant companions when I first got clean and sober. I don’t really know if I understood what I was so angry about. In working my way through the steps, I began to uncover some of the reasons for my anger and resentments. I really hated the fact that I was an alcoholic and an addict. I resented many of the consequences I had experienced and continued to have even though I was clean and sober. I resented some of the people in my life and how I had been treated. I was angry with myself for allowing some of these things to occur.
Step Six showed me that I needed to let go of these resentments. I read in program books about anger and resentment and how they were poison for the alcoholic/addict. But these things were not something that I could just forget or make go away. I needed to be shown how to rid myself of anger and resentment. My sponsor told me to begin to pray for the people who had wronged me. I talked at length with others in the program about how they rid themselves of their resentments. I learned more about forgiveness. These things did not just magically disappear; but over time, the longer I stayed clean and sober, I found that I no longer needed to hold onto these resentments. Do I still harbor resentments?
Meditations for the Heart
I needed to occupy myself with what God wanted me to do. His tasks for me in my recovery became more important than my own agenda. As I did this, I began to find peace of mind. My heart was no longer in an uproar. But if I was going to occupy myself with doing what God wanted me to do, I had to learn to let go of the things that got in the way. I had to stop trying to be both judge and jury and wanting to punish others who had hurt me. I had to stop convicting myself. I needed to let my Higher Power decide if others should experience punishment for their deeds. After all, this was His job and not mine. When I began to pray for others and began to practice forgiveness, I found that my resentments slipped away and were replaced with peace of mind. My heart was no longer filled with rage. Am I occupying myself with God’s tasks for me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You know my heart and my mind better than I do myself. Search out my heart and mind, and help me to be rid of resentment. Bless those people who have wronged me. Grant me patience and understanding of others and myself. Grant that I may have a forgiving heart. Let me today be concerned only with Your agenda for me.
Amen.