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Sponsors and Sponsees Help Forum This forum is to discuss any topics, questions or comments you have on sponsorship from How To Pick A Sponsor to When To Step Back and more.

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Old 10-19-2013, 08:33 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Default Sponsorship from Pearl

Sponsorship is a form of service based on mutual trust & respect. With these principles as a foundation a wonderful relationship is possible, truly making it a two-way street. A sponsor is just another addict with more experience in recovery, who is willing to take the time to help others in theirs. We find someone we can relate to and ask them to sponsor us. To use a sponsor we call them, we talk to them about what's going on in our lives, and we listen to their suggestions. We learn to listen. When asked to listen, all that's ask is that we hear. Sponsors aren't marriage counselors, money-lenders, babysitters, authority figures, Gods or Gurus. A sponsor can't tell us what is best for us, we have our own world in which we must live. They can't fix us, or convince us of the necessity to choose the uncertainty of change over the safe misery of staying the same. A sponsors' purpose isn't to co-sign bull****, help us stay in limbo, or take care of our responsibilities. If others do for us, what we need to do for ourselves, they contribute to our fear and weakness. They can't take away our loneliness, or pain, or grow for us. A sponsor can help us become less self-centered, more accepting of ourselves and others, and help us understand what we are feeling. Then the answers are obvious. Our sponsor is mainly a guide through the steps, who we look to for direction.

Anytime we are asked to sponsor an addict we need to remember this is a privilege and with privilege comes responsibility. We don't just share our experience, strength and hope, we make a commitment to share our time and attention. We ask questions, we listen, we get to know each other. We must be careful that sponsoring doesn't become a dis-service. If we tell someone what to do, we haven't done as asked. If we tell them they shouldn't feel something, we're trampling feelings. If we solve their problem, we've failed, as strange as that seems. As a sponsor we give of ourselves. If we are unable or unwilling to do this, we need to say so, and direct addicts to someone who is. If a sponsee is struggling with something that we personally have no experience with, we listen and if possible, direct them to an addict who does have that experience. A sponsor hangs in there as long as they believe that a sponsee is willing to grow, but we must grow for ourselves. If a sponsor begins to care out of pity or to lose faith in a sponsee, they inhibit the growth of the sponsee and of themselves. You can't expect someone to see eye to eye with you when you're looking down on them.

God, in His wisdom, selected a group of men and women to be carriers of a message. He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant to find messengers. But, instead to the humbled, the sick, the unfortunate, he went right to the addict. As if God were saying; "Into your hands alone, I entrust this power beyond estimate."
God selected Us to be carriers of a message, that which has been denied all others'. Not scientists or statesmen, fathers or mothers, not even doctors or priests, have been given this gift to heal other addicts, which We are entrusted with. It must be used unselfishly; and carries with it responsibility. No day can be too long; no demand on our time too hard; no case too hopeless; no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for it isn't restricted to any race, creed, sex or denomination. Personal criticism we can expect; lack of appreciation will be common; and our motives will be misjudged. We must be prepared for adversity, but this adversity can help us to grow spiritually. If our efforts are successful, we mustn't ascribe it to personal superiority, but always remember that it is a gift.

If God wanted learned men to have this power it would've been entrusted to the physician and scientist. If God wanted eloquent men, there would've been many anxious for the task, for talk is the easiest to use of all the talents with which mankind has been endowed. If God wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with those better qualified who would've been available. We weren't chosen because of exceptional talents. We were chosen because we've been the outcast of the world. Our personal experience has made or should make us alert to the cries for help from the lonely desperate hearts of addicts everywhere.

Author Unknown
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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