Marleen G


I began my life when I joined AA.  I was led by a
 trusted friend and partner to what has now become
 the most important aspect of my life.  In AA I have
 learned that morals and values have meaning when
 you put meaning behind them, that having a
conscience is a good thing, and that I can live a happy
 life sober.  I brought myself to AA, I wasn't court
ordered or forced by family in a 12 step, I curiously
 walked in to the doors thinking that I was going for
purposes other than myself.  What I have grown to
realize that we can stay sober through anything.  My
best friend and fiancé Michael Good brought an AA
to me that I never knew existed.  As I watched myself
 and others grow I began to take on another personality,
one that I liked.  

  Last October Michael Good committed suicide.  He
died sober.  Michael's love of AA held him up and gave
him hope but Michael also had a severe depression none
of us really new of.  Because of his passing, and the trials
I went through I have become stronger in AA.  I have
realized that no matter what happens in life, however good
or horrible, we can stay sober.  When Michael died my
parents were on a world cruise and my best friend out of
town.  It was the women of AA who ran to my aid, who
took me to the Emergency Room after I did CPR for 45
minutes and it was and is the people of AA who keep me
standing when I feel like falling.  I have been trying to find
one thing that is good out of all of this tragedy and amongst
the horror I have realized two things.  I realized that I will not
drink no matter what and I realized the horror of suicide, what
 it feels like to witness and what it feels like to the family
afterwards.  I am in my own right, a strong person, but I never
 realized how strong until now.  I work as a counselor so I
blamed myself for months, but what I have come to realize
and already know, is that we are powerless over people,
places, and things.  And that when times are tough and you
 are hurting, there are wonderful people out
There who will be at your door in an instant.  I am writing this
 letter to let people know that there is another way, reach out,
 hold on, and never let go. Michael passed peacefully and sober
but there is not reason for us to pass in this way at all.  Let go
and let God and let people in.  Thank you and God Bless.