Hi folks, I am Mickie an alkie, a grateful alkie at that!!

I will try not to bore everyone with all the details
of my story, but there are some points I do need
to bring up in order for things to make sense on
how I came to recovery.

I am the youngest of 8 children. Actually I have 4
half sisters and 3 half brothers.  I never felt like I fit
in my family at all. I felt more like an intruder than a
member of the family. My parents divorced when
I was almost 6 years old. My father was given custody
of me. I visited mom on the weekends.

I had a very tight relationship with my dad. We did
everything together!  Not only was he my dad, but
as I look back over those years, he was truly my best
friend.

Please dont mind if I just kinda skim through some
details of what it was like.

I started drinking at 10, it progressed quickly to
where I was doing a few drugs and drinking on
weekends by thetime I was 11.  By the time I was
13, alcoholism was in full tilt. At the age of 13, I had
gotten angry at my dad and decided to run away
from home.  My dad at this time owned a used
car lot and was in the process of selling a car which
thepeople had already paid for and were going to pick
up ina few days.  I stole this car my dad had sold, and
stole the money the people had paid for the car, and
about a mile down the road, I crashed into a tree at
about 60 miles an hour and totalled the car.  My best
friend was in the car with me, and by the Grace of God
alone, neither of us were hurt too badly, I had a broken
nose, my friend just had some minor scratches.  Before
the police arrived on the scene, we ran off and hid in the
cemetary across the street from where we crashed
(hint number 1 that things were bad).  After
the police had secured the scene, they never found
my friend and I, the police towed the car away, and
instead of walking that mile back to my house, I
decided to keep on going, and my friend decided to
follow right along.  We walked 8 miles before we finally
grew tired. I called my dad collect and told him that he
needed to come pickme up, but he wasnt going to be
able to pick me up with the car, cuz I crashed it.

My dad came to pick us up, and didnt speak a word to
me.  I was still quite drunk and high, so it didnt hit me the
severity of what I had done.  My father decided not
to press charges against me.  My friends parents came to
pick her up, and I was informed I was no longer able to
hangout with her. This is quite an important part of my
story.  My father stopped speaking to me. He would write
me notes to communicate with me. I had devistated him.
All the trust that I had with him was gone. That was
devistating to me.

For the few years following the relationship between
my father and I was quite strained.  My mother flipped out
when she heard what I did and my father had to hold her
back from beating the crap out of me. Needless to say the
already strained relationship I had with my mother, was just
a tad bit more strained.

Moving along to when I was 16...my father and I had
started to work through some of our problems. We were
begining to get close again, and the trust was being rebuilt.
Prom weekend comes along, and my father had bought
me a beautiful gown, he took me to get my hair done and just
really made me feel like a queen for the day.  The morning
after my prom, May 23, 1987, my father passed away of
a massive heart attack.

Instead of dealing with my fathers death, when I returned
home from the hospital, I started drinking and doing drugs
non stop, and I didnt stop until I sobered up in 1989.

Alot of crazy things happened during those 2 years.  In and
out of relationships.  My mother and I didnt get along.  I
moved in with friends of the family instead of living with any
family members. I barely graduated from High School.
After graduation, I moved out on my own.

Lots of twists and turns I could go on about. But I just want
to hit some main points.

I came in contact with Alanon because of a boyfriend
that was alcoholic and he attended AA meetings, and he
thought it might be best if I attended Alanon.

I had just turned 18 when I was attending Alanon. Nothing like
attending an alanon meeting stoned and drunk complaining
about "my alcoholic" LOL

Through Alanon, I met this man named Francis. He was a great
big huge biker dude and just my kinda people. He and I became
instant friends and in alot of ways I looked to him as I did
my dad. Every morning on my way to work I would stop by his
house for coffee and he would tell me on how I needed a 12
step program in my life, I would laugh at him and say "I got
alanon ya dork" LOL

Francis was a member of AA that also attended Alanon.
He tried on many occasions to 12 step me into AA, but I was
too deaf to hear his message.

On October 9th of 1989, Francis started drinking, and 3
days later he was shot and killed. It was like losing my
father all over again, and I turned to old faithful
alcohol and drugs to take away my pain. But the thing
that happened this time was it didnt take my pain away,
because with every drink and every drug, I could hear Francis
tell me that I needed a 12 step program in my life.

Through his death, I stopped drinking on October 15/16
(its kinda blurry even still today) of 1989. I attended my first
AA meeting on October 23rd 1989, and that is the day
I celebrate my sobriety anniversary.

I was one of the youngest people in AA in my area.  Alot
of people thought it odd that an 18 year old was
attending AAmeetings. But alot of the oldtimers told me to listen
and relate, not to compare. I will be honest with you, I didnt
jump into AA with both feet.  I was terrified.  I didnt want to
stop drinking, but I knew I had to. It wasnt until I was 2 1/2 years
sober that I started learning how to apply the steps into my life.
It wasnt until then that I got honest. It wasnt until that that I
finally surrendered.  I didnt drink and went to meetings for my
first 2 1/2 years and thats about all I could do.

I did alot of things that is NOT suggested. I jumped into a
relationship early in recovery, I became pregnant, started college,
dropped out of college, got a job, quit a job, moved about 8 times,
got a sponsor, fired the sponsor, tried to make amends with
people long before I had done any step work, and that was
all in the first year I was sober. LOL

Somewhere in my 2nd year of sobriety, I hit a low
bottom.  I was in so much emotional pain.  This was
my turning point.  I remember sitting in my car and
thinking to myself, "if this is what being sober is about,
screw thisI want to die!!"

I sat in my car, debating on which tree would be the
best tree to hit to kill me.  I also had thoughts of going out
and getting drunk.  Honestly, I dont know how it happened,
but I ended up driving myself to a meeting...When they went to
open the topic, I barely could speak, but said "I am Mickie an
alkie and I need help".  I didnt need to say much more than that.
The experience, strength and hope that I heard that night,
saved my life.  It was at this time, that I finally started to utilize
a sponsor, and learn about the steps.  It was also at this time,
that I started to get honest with myself.

For the first 5 years I was sober, I didnt have much of a
relationship at all with my mother.  I didnt speak to
her for most of my first 5 years sober. I had many issues with my
mom that my sponsor helped me work through.  I was getting
married,  and I realized I really really wanted my family to be a
part of my life.  7 days before my wedding day, I finally was
shoved hard enough by my sponsor to call my
mother and ask her to come to the wedding.  I called my
mother for the first time in 5 years and asked her if she would
attend my wedding, and she agreed.  It was the first time in
my life that I didnt care if she was drunk or sober, I just
wanted my mommy to be there.

My mother attended my wedding, and it was just real
nice to have her back in my life. I didnt realize how much
I had truly missed her.  With the support of many people in AA, I
stayed in contact with my mother and opened up my life to her.
One month to the day of my wedding, my mother and I were
on our way to a movie (Lion King--moral of the movie,
Face your past  LOL ) my mother asked me if I would do
her a favor.  She asked me if I would be willing to attend an
AA meeting with her.  I couldnt believe what I was hearing.
I never  thought in a million years my mother would sober up.  My
mother had no clue that I was inAA! I told her I would
love to take her to a meeting and that I would pick her up
the next morning to attend a meeting.

From that point, the relationship with my mom started to
grow in ways I never ever thought possible.

Its amazing the gifts that sobriety will give you, if you
stick around long enough for the miracle to happen.

Today, I am very involved with my home group.  I have a sponsor
that I trust.  I have people in my life today that I can truly count
on no matter what.  I have 2 beautiful children, I am still married,
I am in contact with my brothers and sisters and my mother.
All of which are a result of God working in my life today through AA.

If there is one message that I could give, its please dont give up
before the miracle happens. I have experienced so many
wonderful miracles in my life since I have been sober.   As one of the
oldtimers in my home town says...

"Everything I have in my life today has an AA label on it"

and for me thats the TRUTH!

I didnt mean to ramble on, but this is me, this is who I am,
and this is how I got here.

Its through people like yourselves that I have become the
person I am today.