No way I could be complacent today, too many things got my attention. First off was hitting red lights going down main street, then we thought it was an accident, and when we got to the hold up, we saw the police had blocked John street and there was yellow ticker tape all around the court and there were a lot of police cars. Never did listen to the news to see what happened. Then I got to my group and got to chair the meeting. What do I do, forget the announcements and had to be reminded.

When I got home, I got attacked by a bout of fatigue, and I tried to come on line and combat it, but just had to go to bed. Tonight, when I went to take burgers out of the freezer, the lid fell on my arm, tore some skin and badly bruised it. I realized how much fear I had been carrying around since the put me on a blood thinner. Every time I moved my arm, it would start bleeding again. I had been thinking of my friend Theresa before I went to sleep today, but didn't call her. Seeing as I had to sit still and put pressure on my arm, I decided to call her only to find she had been thinking of me. She didn't call because she figured I would be sleeping, and I was.

I had two load of laundry to do. I got it done, but it was really pushing it. I finally had to ask my son for help to banadage my arm, I couldn't do it myself.

This is a one day at a time program. All things that happened to me would have been a reason to pick up. For me to use is to die, each day I have to find another option. I am so grateful for the tools of the program that help me to deal with life on life's terms.

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In order to recover, I need to share my experience, strength, and hope. If I don't share it with others, it will shrivel up and die. The Spirit will go out of the blessings I receive as a result of working the Steps, because I will be back in my ISMs, I Self, and Me.

Last night I was speaking to my spiritual advisor and was advised to change my thinking and thought patterns when I was praying. Indeed food for thought. A topic comes up until the lessn finally sinks in. A person at my home group keeps putting "open minded" on the topic list and every one was sick and tired of talking about it, me included. :(

Here is the link for the daily reading:

www.jftna.org/jft/

These readings are also included in the Daily Readings at the top of the forum.

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January 01, 2017

Vigilance

Page 1

"We keep what we have only with vigilance..."

Basic Text, p. 60

How do we remain vigilant about our recovery? First, by realizing that we have a disease we will always have. No matter how long we've been clean, no matter how much better our lives have become, no matter what the extent of our spiritual healing, we are still addicts. Our disease waits patiently, ready to spring the trap if we give it the opportunity.

Vigilance is a daily accomplishment. We strive to be constantly alert and ready to deal with signs of trouble. Not that we should live in irrational fear that something horrible will possess us if we drop our guard for an instant; we just take normal precautions. Daily prayer, regular meeting attendance, and choosing not to compromise spiritual principles for the easier way are acts of vigilance. We take inventory as necessary, share with others whenever we are asked, and carefully nurture our recovery. Above all, we stay aware!

We have a daily reprieve from our addiction as long as we remain vigilant. Each day, we carry the principles of recovery into all that we do, and each night, we thank our Higher Power for another day clean.

Just for Today: I will be vigilant, doing everything necessary to guard my recovery.

The people in the rooms loved me back to good health. They loved me until I could love myself.

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The one gift alone is priceless. The Dolphin means manna. I look at it as food for the soul.

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When I heard people talking about anxiety attacks, I thought they where a bunch of whooses. Then when I learned to listen and learn, I realized that the pot was calling the kettle black. I had gone into grocery stores and left my buggy in the middle of the aisle and got off the bus if it got too noisy and crowded. I heard how they felt, I too had the tightening in my chest and my brain stopped working. As I learned to apply the program, it seldom happened to me. When it does, I do the deep breathing and pray and ask for help. I had to do that last night when the AA meeting got too noisy before it started.

It didn't help that two guys I didn't know who said they thought they knew me came up to me. One was from NA, but he didn't have the right name of the meeting for the church he mentioned. I had heard the name and had been to the meeting. The other one asked if I had gone to school in Hamilton. I didn't come to Hamilton until I was 17. I had been to a lot of east end meetings. He said he had 33 years in recovery and chaired the meeting. His group was in Stoney Creek and it was a meeting that I always felt worse after the meeting than I did before. I think it was the low ceiling and tiles, as well as the energy from the people in the group. I didn't go there unless it was for their group anniversary and I could get a ride. People knew me from different groups, I went to many, but didn't know all the people there.

I was "I" centered all of my life. As a sponsee once said, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to listen to my Higher Power in today. I listened to my Lower Power all of my life.

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