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Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > New to Bluidkiti's Recovery Forums? > New Member Check In

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Old 03-26-2014, 11:50 AM   #11
Sagan
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1
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Hi Toni,
I'm new here as well, and you're posts have rung quite a few bells of my own.
Firstly, my name is Toni, too.
Secondly, anxiety is kicking me in the butt!!!
Social anxiety, anxiety about failing (failing in so many different aspects), anxiety towards my emotions/nonemotions at times.
I have only two days under my belt at this point, but I recently started taking step again towards recovery. I am lucky enough to have counselors at the university I'm attempting to attend. I say attempting because this semester has been slipping trough my fingers. I started with 45 days under my belt, but have since let the stress of my fear of failure draw my back to the mind-numbing ways of alcohol. I really think my fear of failing while I had no excuse (daily drinking) drove me back to it.

I'm also quite shy, and the idea of going to meetings with x-many new faces and people to meet absolutely terrifies me. I'm used to being shy, but not This shy. I've isolated myself in order to cut out a lot of triggers, but it's only helped so much and I think it's hindering my emotional/mental recovery.

I set a somewhat loose 60-90 day drink free stint with my counselor about an hour ago, and I found this website about 30 minutes ago.

Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling and class is about to start. (I'm even scared to go to class right now because I've missed so many classes and am scared to ask my professor for help.)

I hope all is well for you today, and once I have more time to learn this forum, I hope we can chat and help each other along. I'm going to try to attend a meeting today, and I'm already shaking with anxiety. It's actually pretty difficult to type right now.

Again with the rambles!

Toodles!
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