Control

[dwmoeller]

Quote:
There are only two things I get to 'control today'--me and my attitude. The rest simply ain't mine.

Early in my recovery, I had a hard time grasping this "control" issue. I have learned that I accept the fact that I can't control how others feel or think....I can only control what I feel and think. I still have struggles with it but as I grow spiritually in my sobriety journey, I rely on my Higher Power, G-d, to help me.

The delusion of controlling my drinking:
In my drinking days, I tried to "control" my drinking. I failed miserably at this. For example, I'd go to a party with intentions of drinking socially and not get drunk. But by the end of the night, I was drunk. The next day I'd be mad at myself that I got drunk again. I remember thinking to myself...I'll do better next time. But each time I ended up drunk. Oh, Ttere were times when I would be able to not get drunk. Then I thought, hey, I'm controlling my drinking. Looking back, I had more failures than successes and in fact I was never really able to "control" my drinking.