Hi. Another failure

[MajestyJo]

Thank you for sharing. You have to be willing to quit to begin with. I had to pray for the willingness to quit. Then when I got the willingness to quit, I could take it a step further, and say, "Just for today, I choose not to use people, places and things." One day at a time, I am willing to go to any length to stay sober. Sobriety is soundness of mind. That was my goal, because I found out that I don't have a drinking problem or an addiction to pills, I had a thinking problem that told me to pick them up to deal with life. It doesn't work. All I did was compound my misery.

I went from an extrovert to an introvert. Every time I picked up, I lost a piece of myself and when I found recovery, there wasn't much 'me' left.

The 12 Steps were stepping stones to a new way of life. It was okay to be me. I didn't have to abuse myself or others any more. I found the freedom of recovery. Free from active addiction. Free to be myself. Free to live each day without the use of drugs and handle life on life's terms. Some times it sucked, sometimes it was joyful, sometimes it was depressing, some times it felt glorious, and no matter what happened, I didn't have to pick up.

Isolation doesn't work. It is part of my disease. I like to say, "I was at dis-ease within myself and looked for things outside of myself to make me happy." In recovery, I am told, "Let it begin with me." Look within myself and I will find the answers to all my questions. As I told my sponsor, "But I don't know what the questions are." That is okay, I just kept going to meetings. I took the body and the mind followed.

One day at a time, I choose not to drink. I have to acknowledge m feelings, I may feel like having a drink, but I don't have to act on that feeling. I can pause, say the Serenity Prayer, with meaning, and ask for help to get through the time until the feeling passes. Get a sponsor use one. Get a home group and get active. The program works if you work for it.

Have a happy 24 hours. The day isn't 2-4 hours, it is for 24 hours. One day at a time!