Links

Join

Forums

Find Help

Recovery Readings

Spiritual Meditations

Chat

Contact


Go Back   Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums > New to Bluidkiti's Recovery Forums? > Newcomers Recovery Help and Support

Share This Forum!  
 
        

Newcomers Recovery Help and Support Stop in here if you are new to recovery and share with us. Feel free to ask questions and for support here.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 11-27-2013, 12:32 AM   #1
MajestyJo
Super Moderator
 
MajestyJo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 20,270
Default Freedom of Choice

What a gift! Freedom of choice. When I was using, my choice was taken from me my drug of choice became the Master at the helm of my life.

In recovery, I am also given freedom of choice, and I can still lose that choice by giving up my power.

When I surrender to this program, I am empowered to do what I need to do for myself. This was totally impossible for me when I was using and when I was in a relationship. Even sober, before I had the time to heal, to let go of my past, I was still living out my old patterns and behaviors.

I believe I posted somewhere on the board about asking the bouncer at the dance hall I use to go to why no one danced with me any more, when before I never missed a dance except when I excused myself. He said, "It is because you are Ken's girl!" I couldn't believe it! I was furious. I believed he had total ownership of me, and although he could go and do 'courtesy dances', I had to sit there until he asked or allowed someone else to dance with me. I had no idea or concept that this was abuse. I had another boyfriend isolate me from all my friends and I became the whole center of his world and the phone stopped ringing and people stopped dropping by.

I stayed in an abusive marriage for seven years, but I didn't think by then I could take care of myself, that no one else would have me and that I was completely worthless. When it got unbearable, I waited for the perfect time to ask him to leave, and there never seemed to be the right moment. The day I asked him to leave I had 50 cents in my pocket and no food in the house and my son was sixteen. The reason I made the decision was he complained because I bought bread, milk, cereal and peanut butter for my son to eat. Thank God for peanut butter and Kraft dinner or my son would have starved. It is a wonder he is still talking to me today. The reason I made my choice was that my son and my husband were getting to a stage that my son was going to protect me and there would have been a fist-a-cuff if I didn't ask my ex-husband to leave.

The Legion provided me with a food voucher until I could see a Mother's Allowance worker on the Monday. We stayed in the village for two years after that before we left to come to Hamilton. I would come home at night and my ex-husband would be at the door asking me what I had been up to and coming home at such and such an hour. He accused me of relationships with different men, and I said, "Why would I want another man when I just got rid of you!"

Anytime I was in a relationship, I lost my identity. I lost my freedom of choice. I am an individual, and just because I choose to have a relationship with someone doesn't mean that I have to give up the freedom to be myself. I refuse to compromise myself every again.

Something I posted on another site in 2004

But for the Grace of God...

__________________

Love always,

Jo

I share because I care.


MajestyJo is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Post New ThreadReply  

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Freedom of Confession bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 11-21-2013 10:52 AM
freedom krafty Inspirations, Poetry, Quotes, Thoughts, Etc 0 10-19-2013 08:05 PM
The key to freedom is to put God first bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 09-30-2013 09:47 AM
True Freedom in Christ bluidkiti Daily Spiritual Meditations 0 09-19-2013 11:43 AM
Disease and Choice bluidkiti Newcomers Recovery Help and Support 0 08-24-2013 12:13 PM


Click here to make a Donation

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:27 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.