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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 06-20-2015, 06:28 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 21,057
Default The Forgiveness Process

  • The Stepping Stones to Forgiveness
    Be open to the possibility of changing your beliefs
    about forgiveness. Recognize that forgiveness is an
    act of strength, not weakness.

    Be willing to let go of being a victim. Choose to
    believe that holding on to grievances and unforgiving
    thoughts is choosing to suffer. Find no value in self-pity.

    Remind yourself that your anger and judgments
    can’t change the past or punish someone else, but
    they can hurt you. The events of the past cannot hurt
    you now, but your thoughts about the past can cause
    you immense distress and pain. Recognize that any
    emotional pain you feel this moment is caused only
    by your own thoughts.

    See the value of giving up, not some, but all of your
    judgments. It is no coincidence that the happiest people
    are those who choose not to judge and know the value
    of forgiveness.

    Recognize that holding on to anger will not bring you
    what your truly want. Ask yourself this question, " Does
    holding on to my justified anger really bring me peace
    of mind?" Anger and peace; judgment and happiness
    do not occur at the same time.

    See that there is no value in punishing yourself.
    Once you truly recognize that your angry, unhappy
    thoughts about the past are poisoning your life, you
    will embrace forgiveness and know the meaning of

    Believe that forgiveness means giving up all hope
    for a better past! Accept your past, forgive your past,
    and embrace the present and future with hope! There
    is no law forcing you to remain a victim of the past.

    Choose to be happy rather than right. When we
    stop trying to control others and focus instead on our
    own thoughts, we give ourselves the gift of freedom
    and peace.

    Believe that you have the power to choose the
    thoughts you put into your mind. Perhaps the greatest
    gift we have been given is the power to choose loving
    thoughts rather than angry ones. Your mind is not a
    dumpster that will remain unaffected by the trash you
    put into it. Treat it like a garden and it will blossom.

    Be willing to make peace of mind your only goal
    and believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness.
    Regardless of the chaos around us, we can know peace
    if that is our single goal. Choose not to let outside
    circumstances or people decide whether you will be
    happy. Anger, judgments and unforgiving thoughts
    make suffer, and releasing them brings us joy. It truly
    is that simple!

Love always,


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